This is normal, right?

Common phrases in the home of a 4-year-old:

• Don’t fart where you eat.
• If you’re going to pee in the shower, pee in the drain…Not on the wall.
• We don’t say “That person sucks,” even if it’s true.
• Are you a cowboy?  Is the dog a horse?  Then don’t ride the dog like a cowboy rides a horse.
• You can do “The Monster Mash” after dinner.
• The fish is NOT hungry again….
• I don’t care if Daddy drinks beer.  You are not Daddy. You don’t drink beer.
• The pants stay on until we get home.
• Where are all your video games?  What do you mean “In the Playstation?”  All of them?  Together?  JD, the Playstation’s broken.
• Where did you find this?
• What is that?
• What are you eating?
• Did you remember to put underwear on?
• If it’s not a boogie, it shouldn’t be in your nose.
• Get your hand out of my shirt.
• Stop punching my boob.
• Don’t hit Daddy in the pee-pee.
• Because you’re not a ninja.
• Because Daddy’s not a ninja.
• Why are you crying?  Where were you hit?  What’s his name?  I’ll kill him.
• Eat.
• Eat more.
• That’s a squirrel, not a cat, and you should leave it alone.
• What’s that wet spot?