This is normal, right?

Common phrases in the home of a 4-year-old:

  • Don’t fart where you eat.
  • If you’re going to pee in the shower, pee in the drain…Not on the wall.
  • We don’t say “That person sucks,” even if it’s true.
  • Are you a cowboy?  Is the dog a horse?  Then don’t ride the dog like a cowboy rides a horse.
  • You can do “The Monster Mash” after dinner.
  • The fish is NOT hungry again….
  • I don’t care if Daddy drinks beer.  You are not Daddy. You don’t drink beer.
  • The pants stay on until we get home.
  • Where are all your video games?  What do you mean “In the Playstation?”  All of them?  Together?  JD, the Playstation’s broken.
  • Where did you find this?
  • What is that?
  • What are you eating?
  • Did you remember to put underwear on?
  • If it’s not a boogie, it shouldn’t be in your nose.
  • Get your hand out of my shirt.
  • Stop punching my boob.
  • Don’t hit Daddy in the pee-pee.
  • Because you’re not a ninja.
  • Because Daddy’s not a ninja.
  • Why are you crying?  Where were you hit?  What’s his name?  I’ll kill him.
  • Eat.
  • Eat more.
  • That’s a squirrel, not a cat, and you should leave it alone.
  • What’s that wet spot?

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. The Sadder But Wiser Girl
    Oct 09, 2012 @ 22:29:03

    Oh good… it’s not just my four year old in my house. According to her, we are all ninjas. Or princesses, or ninja princesses.


  2. alienredqueen
    Oct 09, 2012 @ 23:06:29

    I have a two year old and some of those phrases are strikingly familiar. (especially the one about not hitting daddy in the pee pee!)…then there is “Mommy’s cleavage is not a pencil holder,” “Don’t grab the kitty’s butt,” and “We DO NOT stand on the kitty!”


    • jaimiedubuque
      Oct 10, 2012 @ 10:56:49

      I hope the saying of “Kids who attack animals become serial killers” isn’t true. Because you and I are screwed :)


  3. Dave Conifer
    Oct 10, 2012 @ 09:49:01

    I think this is my favorite: “The fish is NOT hungry again….”

    Well done, as usual…


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